Saturday, January 29, 2011

ms-cl kinda night

Can't write today.  Can't even think in a straight line.  Everything's all messed up in my head.  Part of it is cause I'm worried about leaving the house tomorrow.  I don't really know what choices to make.  I wish it was as easy as right and wrong.  As easy as some people think it is. 

I just don't feel loved right now.  Or maybe just not as loved as I want to feel.  I don't know.  And I'm not sure that people can deal with who I really am.  Maybe that's why they don't love me.  Because I scare them secretly.  Or confuse them.  I'm so much work. 

But am I really so much more work than everyone else.  I mean, everyone has issues.  Am I so much more work than the guy sitting next to me or the girl down the street?  I don't think so.  I would like to not think so. 

I feel like drowning.  My Lord, do I feel like I'm drowning.  I think tonight is a "watch My So-Called Life and cry at all the good parts" sort of night. 

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