I moved to Austin, Texas. I'm here. It was a long, arduous journey, but I made it. And I LOVE it here. The people are so nice. I'm even going to church again.
The church is great. The people in it, I think, may be the nicest people I've ever met in my entire life. And I'm not really paranoid when I'm there. I actually look forward to something. I look forward to leaving the house (which is totally new for me). I'm there and I don't feel judged or criticized because of who I am or the disease I have. Any of it.
I'm not trying to preach hardcore here or anything. I know how that can be sometimes. It's just that, I've never felt so comforted anywhere before. And I've been to other churches before. This one is just... different. It sort of makes me feel sorry for the people that can't come with me.
Anyway, I can't run from the Bipolar, but there are things (people, places, etc) that I left when I left Jersey. Well, they still haunt. It sucks. I'm starting to think that Facebook is just a torture mechanism that keeps you in touch with ALL the WRONG people. Not to mention that when I moved here, there was a severe lapse in my insurance and I've only recently started taking my meds again after a month long reprieve. Now that, was hell.
I thought I was going to spend my first month in Austin in a hospital. I felt crazy. I was crying all the time. Yelling. Berating myself. Refusing to leave the house. Over-eating. Having panic attacks. And so on and so on... blah, blah, blah.
It's a bit better now. I'm back on medication and I'm trying. Although, today I'm particularly irritable. But that's why I'm writing. And I will keep writing now that I'm almost completely settled in to my new home.
