So, I'm scared right now, but I guess it's a good scared. I finished my novel. The first one I've ever been interested in getting published. But the process of just trying to be published is intense and scary and with the bipolar I think I may go crazy.
But, I'm going to try regardless. Even if it takes me 10 years. And I will start a new story now and write every day because I don't know what to do when I'm not writing.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I could use whatever you have.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
bottom line
I think I care too much. About everyone. I mean, I know that it's only human to care about other people, but I think I extend well past the reasonable limit of caring.
Right now I find myself a little upset that an old "friend" didn't clean up his act. He was a druggie who ended up in jail for a while. Now he's out and he's right back to it. I don't know what I expected, but it makes me sad. Sad for many, many reasons.
Bottom line: I'm going out on a limb and saying drugs... never the answer. And I'm beginning to think that druggies themselves are my drug. I need to learn to just say no.
Right now I find myself a little upset that an old "friend" didn't clean up his act. He was a druggie who ended up in jail for a while. Now he's out and he's right back to it. I don't know what I expected, but it makes me sad. Sad for many, many reasons.
Bottom line: I'm going out on a limb and saying drugs... never the answer. And I'm beginning to think that druggies themselves are my drug. I need to learn to just say no.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
shut up!
Random thought for the day: shut up!! Why do you have the right to judge anyone? Isn't everyone supposedly created equal? Gay, straight, black, white... why hate someone for something they can't control??
I just personally feel that there are way too many hardships in life to go out and create more where there really shouldn't be any. But, hey, maybe it's just me.
I just personally feel that there are way too many hardships in life to go out and create more where there really shouldn't be any. But, hey, maybe it's just me.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Spidey-senses
I hate these kinds of nights. I feel bad for no reason. Like something horrible happened when it didn't. Normally, I'd say that maybe my Spidey-senses were tingling, but they haven't really tingled in years.
I did have a bad dream last night though. Maybe the feelings from that are finally catching up to me. Maybe I should talk to someone about it. But it's been the same thing forever. Most people are tired of hearing about it. I know I am. I wish I could forget it. I wish I could go back and make different decisions. Then maybe I wouldn't be so haunted.
It really scares me to think that I'll dream like this for the rest of my life. That even if I'm 50 and happy as ever with a really nice husband and a couple of kids, that every so often, I'll dream like I dream now.
I know I'm being a bit vague and possibly even cryptic, but I don't really want to talk about it. I'll just cry if I do. I think I need to get into some therapy ASAP. Maybe a support group or something. It can only help right??
I did have a bad dream last night though. Maybe the feelings from that are finally catching up to me. Maybe I should talk to someone about it. But it's been the same thing forever. Most people are tired of hearing about it. I know I am. I wish I could forget it. I wish I could go back and make different decisions. Then maybe I wouldn't be so haunted.
It really scares me to think that I'll dream like this for the rest of my life. That even if I'm 50 and happy as ever with a really nice husband and a couple of kids, that every so often, I'll dream like I dream now.
I know I'm being a bit vague and possibly even cryptic, but I don't really want to talk about it. I'll just cry if I do. I think I need to get into some therapy ASAP. Maybe a support group or something. It can only help right??
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