thin skin

So, I have hit a major depressive episode.  I feel like doing nothing, saying nothing, seeing no one.  

Also, I just found out that my mother is sick.  This pushes her terminal status up a bit.  Hoping she's around next September.
 
Really don't want to write, but wanted to document everything.  All the feelings that come with this.  I started crashing about a week ago.  I suddenly started to cry over EVERYTHING.  Decisions, commercials, movies, the past, the future - all things that made me cry.
 
Then, I started sleeping more and for anyone who's paid any attention up till now, you know how weird that is.  
And then it happened.  The mania switched off like a fucking light switch.
 
I think the worst part is that I'm itching to do something, anything, that will make the depression go away.  I want to resort to back-ups I had in place.  Things I used to do.  I want to sleep till 3pm, eat something, fuck someone, cut somewhere, then sleep again. 

This is the worst feeling in the world.  Instead of feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin, I feel like my skin is too big for me.  Like it's weighing me down. 

I'm too thin for this skin.