Broke the fuck down in group yesterday. Just started spilling all kinds of shit that I haven't been willing to say aloud. In about 30 minutes I had talked about my father being in and out of my life and royally screwing up my head. I talked about my rapist and my relationship with him. I even discussed aspects of the rape itself that I have only ever openly shared with like, 4 people and 2 of them were therapists. And lastly of course I talked about my current stupid situation that I got myself into. The one that has my heart all confused. I sobbed I'm telling you. Sobbed!
And today, I feel tired. I needed to get it all out, but boy, it took its toll. It's really actually astonishing how tired I am. Tired mentally, emotionally and physically. Also, tired of people. So, so tired. As a matter of fact, all of my random thoughts seem to be amazed at how clueless and thoughtless people can be. I mean, please, please, will the next person that talks to me just take a moment to really think about the words that are coming from your mouth?? Because I can't take much more of this!
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